One of the most powerful benefits of support groups is their ability to break through the sense of isolation that many people feel who are dealing with affairs. Most people tend to withdraw from life and from interactions with others, and even the prospect of talking to others who share the same experience can be frightening. One woman described sitting in her car in the parking lot for 15 minutes before getting up her nerve to go into her first support group meeting.
When she finally did go inside, she was surprised to find that others shared thoughts and emotions she thought were uniquely hers. For a long time she sat quietly listening to others in the group, then finally spoke up to say that she had been secretly convinced that no one had ever felt the pain she had felt, but now she knew she wasn't alone.
Others commented on how good it felt to talk to someone who had "been there". They find it comforting to have others say, "I know what you're going through. I've been there myself." This often creates a bond of common understanding that gives a person strength to face their own problems.
Here's the way one person reflected on the healing benefit of this kind of group sharing:
"As I look back on our meeting, I realize that not one of us said, 'Do you know what I mean?' We all knew. What a relief, knowing that someone understands - really understands."
Another benefit of these meetings is that a person can gain a perspective of their situation that isn't possible when dealing with it alone. They see other people at different stages of recovery; they see some who are at a similar stage to their own, some who are better off, and some who are having a much more difficult time at that point. Support groups provide an opportunity for people to give as well as receive emotional support.
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